I'm Not Ready to Go

Hello everyone.  Praise the Lord!

I was at the hospice for a few hours already and I walk into a room with an elderly African-American lady patient.  She was laying in bed, as comfortable as the doctors could make her.  She had battled throat cancer and was losing!  Her condition was now considered terminal.

I walk into her room to see what I could do to aid in her comfort.  I am just a volunteer with not much to offer, but I was compelled to try. Sometimes all we can do is to try.

She was laying in bed and I could hear her breathing.  She had a troubled look on her face!  I introduced myself to her and told her who I was, and if there was anything that she needed.

She said something in a low raspy voice.  I didn’t hear her so I leaned in real close.  She kindly repeated herself.  She whispered, “I’m not ready to go!” 

I was uncomfortable in bring up the subject of death to her, even though that is what I thought that she meant.  So, I said, “Go where?”  I understand that may sound like a silly response on my part, but this was a very touchy situation!

She whispered again, “I’m not ready to go!”  I then ask, “You’re not ready to go, you mean dying!”  She then nodded her head, “Yes!”

Now it was clear what she had meant.  It sounds simple, but not to me.  As a hospice volunteer, we are not allowed to proselytize, or preach a spiritual message of any kind.  The hospice has chaplains for that type of need.  The only thing that I could do was to walk to the nurse’s station and to tell them that she needed the chaplain.

I lean into her and I tell her that I will let the chaplain know to come and see her. I do exactly that, and the nurse on duty for her already knew her need and the chaplain would be there soon.

In some situations, we can feel so helpless!  Sometimes we can say something to help, but are not allowed to do so.  All we can do is to call the professionals and to say a prayer in private.  Sometimes, all we can do is to give the situation to the Lord!

Are you ready to die?  If not then why not?  Can you talk about it in the comments section?

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Brother Roop